Tuesday, 11 September 2018

Self-Inflicted Peer Pressure

The post caption is such an irony, right? How does one self-inflict peer pressure on themselves?
Peer pressure is something I believe latches on to every living being but in different levels of intensity. Some would kill, steal, lose themselves or even die in the midst of the pressure, but does that mean we'd then recognise its cons and take control of it rather than let it control us? Well, that's what I feel like ranting about today.

In my case, I recognise areas in my life that are the way they are due to peer pressure or should I say, societal pressure. For instance, I am hairy as hell, but God forbid you to find me in the streets with hairs on my legs, underarms or anywhere else visible. Actually, don't let me talk about the forest I groom when I am sexually inactive! Depending on the occasion, I wear makeup mostly because it exaggerates the almond shape of my eyes, but also because I don't want to appear pale, broke or sick to others. Because, in this world where people do not mind their businesses, you are likely to be asked if everything is ok with you if you are sick and what not. So, I avoid those by conforming to what is accepted as normal. But in all of my conforming and accepting, I'll never due to pressure from my peers, allow myself to run into debts, scar myself physically, damage my hair, lose my self-respect or anything else in that nature.

I might be wrong, but I think the worst aspect of peer pressure is people-pleasing. Think about it, is there really any difference between people pleasers and killers? Yes! my comparison depicts the seriousness of the subject matter. Someone once said to me that one can only be pressured by peers if there is a struggle with a healthy self-esteem. While I do not completely agree with the context in which it was said, I'll still take it back to the fact that all humans might also to some degree, struggle with a low self-esteem. But its effects on us lies in just how much we let it shapen our lives.
In all of my conforming and accepting, I'll never due to peer pressure, allow myself to run into debts, scar myself physically, damage my hair or anything else in that nature. 
Believe it or not, there are pros to peer pressure. There are different groups of people who influence each other positively be it in academics, profession, lifestyle or whatever. I'll give an instance when I first got into the university, I said to myself that I won't do anything beyond what was required. My intention was to study enough to maintain an all C (average) grade, but that backfired. After the first semester, our results were posted on every notice boards on campus and that became one of the most embarrassing moments in my life. The next semester, no one told me to sit up! My grades didn't improve because I got wise enough to think of where good grades might take me to in the future, it improved because I realised how competitive students in my school were and I couldn't be the only unintelligent person amongst my peers.

It is always best to take advantage of the pros rather than drown in the cons. News flash, depriving yourself of peace of mind by making promises you cannot fulfil, running into debts over frivolous stuff to be perceived as belonging in a certain class or with the aim of getting people to like you and whatever other reasons you do these things, DOES NOT buy loyalty, love or respect and really leads nowhere positive in the long run. If anything, it leads to;

  1. Debts and even depression because what has been started better be sustained
  2. Disrespect- because at some point, the people being pleased will shudder at the magnanimous level of foolishness and probably become rude
  3. loneliness- because mostly, the wrong set of people who care for nothing more than taking and giving nothing back in return are drawn.
Live your life, master the art of saying no or yes at the appropriate circumstance. You are not the saviour, you'd lose some and gain some, such is life. But never take any action that is beyond your capability in order to be liked or worshipped. Except, of course, it is what you want!


  1. You couldn't have said it any better. I have been guilty of trying to please everyone in the past and now learning to live for me first before anyone else. Call me selfish, but I lost myself and need time to know me.

  2. Beautiful piece.Find happiness and satisfaction in your phase of life