Thursday, 22 February 2018

Butt Grabbed By A Yoruba Demon

Few weeks back, a friend and I went to the most weirdly fun house party I'd ever been to. The ambience was just the way I like it- pretty chilled, yet fun. I kept eating and laughing about the other attendees’ nostalgic stories while also picking on fake accents all over the place. Omo, the way babes be switching accents in Lagos these days leaves me dizzy, what?!

Anyway, in the midst of the merriment, one of the attendees started talking about his son, whom he watched play with his neighbour’s older daughter and while they were playing, she suddenly kissed his son on the lips. His son stood there shocked and didn’t know exactly how to react. Then he completed his story by saying how proud he felt having a little player in the house.

That last statement irritated me beyond words. I you are thinking, ‘Titi relax, they are just kids being kids’, and I partially agree. However, I also know that na from clap dance dey start. Meaning, it’s the tiny things you do today that leads to the big ones you do later on. 
I asked what he did about that occurrence and he initially said he did nothing, up until he was attacked by some other lady in the party, then he tried exonerating himself by saying, he told his son how wrong that event was and also told him that must never repeat itself. I was like, the hell does that even mean’? He asked what he was meant to do, and I replied saying, "either calmly ask the little girl what made her do that or tell her parents so that they handle it the best way they can". It’s possible she’s picked that from TV or actually sees her parent’s getting it if you know what I mean. This story eventually led to a lot of us sharing our varying encounters with molestation. I didn’t have a drop of alcohol but somehow, I felt the need to share especially being aware of his son's reaction to the kiss. That reminded me so much about myself while I was being molested.

Even though mine happened while I was really young, it somehow came back to haunt me at some point in my life and probably still has some adverse effect on me, and I shared this with everyone at the party.   While sharing, one man looked genuinely sorry for me and came over to sit close to me, telling me that I needed to see a therapist/shrink even though I told him I was largely over my encounter. He told me he’ll cover the cost of one of my sessions and went on to narrate the liberation he felt after sharing his deepest worries with this shrink.
Knowing that the cost will be covered, I agreed to see this so-called shrink on a fixed date. Lord knows I most certainly do not see the sense in paying someone to hear me talk!

After having such a fun and deep night, it was time to go home. Mr Onye Obi Oma- Mr. Kind Heart who seemed so deeply concerned about my mental well being, offered to walk my friend and me to my car. We get there, and he hugs my friend then comes over and hugs me as well. I got into my car, turned to my friend and told her I thought that man was demonic. Then she tells me he grabbed her bum while hugging her. The most shocking part was that he did the exact same to me. For whatever reasons, I became numb and couldn't react.

We both still can’t understand why we didn’t react. Maybe because we knew he was drunk which is no excuse or we wanted to avoid creating a scene or couldn’t believe he’d do that subsequent to the conversation we had at the party. A dude who heard me speak about being molested as a child thought it’d be a great idea to grab my bum in the dark. O di egwu! I was weak! Titilayo who's normally fire and quick to speak or react against anything any derogatory move targeted at the female gender, couldn't do anything in the face of a sexual assaulter.

1 comment:

  1. When I was molested as a kid, I grew up liking what she was doing to me but rejected, even after going for a therapist, I'm enjoying the same thing and feels bad every time I do it, it's not that easy :S