Look what I found in my draft! I intended to post this sometime in August 2015 but can't remember what held me back. Anyway, I am glad I didn’t post it then because; my state of confusion was 100%! My level of confusion should be at about 45% now meaning, that I might be wrong about some of the things I would say in this post.
I'd never had that fantasy of wearing a long white dress with a veil across my face, walking down the aisle with my father to be joined with my half by a pastor... Never! Of course i had always thought a pastor would definitely bless my marriage; but not in a church, because i found church services to be extremely boring. You have to understand that i only went to church at that point in my life because i was forced to. I had no say in the matter at all; which was fine, since my parents were only doing what they believed was right for me. I also didn’t understand why weddings had to be so complicated. When I was younger, I likened weddings to funerals, they were same as long as I was concerned because; you’d sit through this very long service with the couple looking very unhappy out of either the discomfort of the clothes or the thought of the amount of money spent just for that day alone. Things have changed now though. Weddings are a whole lot more competitive; which was the lit-test? Who wore the best dress? Who had more dignitaries or good looking people attend etc.? I still don’t get why it has got to be so complicated though, but I’d leave that topic for later.
So now that I am older, and have settled down to read the bible in order to understand Christianity beyond what I have been told or what is constantly being preached; I really do not see the point of having a pastor bless my marriage. In fact, I don’t even know if I am a Christian anymore. I do believe in God, but still struggling to grasp the concept of Jesus. I believe in God not because of any personal encounters; I only sort of believe because some of the scientific theories I’ve come across about the evolution of man and the earth do not add up in my brain. Then of course, there is witchcraft and all these mysterious powers, both evil and good. Something supernatural has got to be behind them. I also pray about somethings I have no control over, and somehow it’s all fixed, so those are the basis of my belief; nothing more.
Before I quit being a church worker, I met with several pastors and even friends that claimed Jesus was speaking to them, asking them questions about most of the concerns I had about Christianity. But they all struggled to come up with compelling answers, they’d either say, “pray for the Holy Spirit to guide you and you will know the truth” or “You are not meant to understand everything, somethings remain mysteries to us”, and many more replies like that. But I am like, wait a minute; did God intend to have a bunch of zombies following him? People that are just walking behind him but have no clue as to why? Isn’t the bible supposed to be my life guide? How can I then be told that I am not supposed to understand everything in the book? How do you enter a plane only to discover that the safety manual is written in such a way that it cannot be comprehended, how would that be helpful to anyone?
Let’s look at marriage from the biblical standpoint a little…
Abraham had a big influence in choosing a wife for his son Isaac. Rebekah’s family gave their blessings and when Isaac saw Rebekah, he took her into his tent and married her (had sex with her). As for King David, King Saul blessed the marriage- for whatever reasons. Notice that so far, there’s been no mention of a third party joining the couple asides from the family ‘heads’ approving of the matrimony. While I am not going to be the know-it-all or devil, arguing against all the tenets of the church, I do not see the need for a pastor when it comes to marriages.
In honoring my father and mother; I allow them influence my decision in choosing a partner and giving their blessings, which I believe holds more ground than the blessings/curse of any pastor
How did this idea of white wedding come to be at the first place? Is it in the bible? Because, only if I need some spiritual eye-opener to open my eyes, I don’t see it; i see no rings, no white weddings, no sex champions (people that have been having sex since thy kingdom come) wearing white dresses on their wedding day etc. But, I do not underestimate the office of fathers and mothers at all. My heart goes out to people with ‘undeserving parents’, but as long as the principles of your folks are aligned with what should be; I believe you are good to go. In fact, it could be argued that whether or not your folks are spiritual, their blessings still matter; I mean, no one is meant for anyone in particular. So, if your ‘ungodly’ folks approve of someone that is seemingly wrong, the person might end up being fantastic right?
Some have a problem with Catholics asking Mary (The mother of Jesus), to help them ask Jesus for favors. They argue that the spirit of God went into all men after the curtains separating the Holies of hollies was torn from bottom up following the death of Jesus Christ. Yet, they have no problem with asking a pastor to bless their marriage, which they believe would make Jesus automatically, certify the marriage a Christian one.
While i am aware that Usain Bolt got nothing on most people i air my views to, i know there are a selected 'few' that desire to know the truth no matter how odd they might be perceived to be. So my question remains, why the need for a pastor with so much information at our disposal?