Monday, 10 February 2014

My Feelings

Feelings….. I couldn’t see his wrongs owing to my feelings for him at the time… I have feelings for her but cannot date her… 

So today; I have decided to attach a rational description to the word “feeling” when used in these contexts as described above. OK a personal experience will serve as a great anecdote for this piece. 

In my life time, I have liked several guys but I am also able to classify whatever it is I am feeling at the time. There are different stages in my cycle of emotion, which are;
·     Admiration - probably because of gentility, the teeth, feet, manner of speech, physique etc.
·     Like - oh he is so smart (if you aren’t smart as a guy, you would never make it to this stage of my emotion cycle), I totally want an intimate relationship with this one.
·     Love - OMG! This is my husband.
Confusion sets in with this “I have feelings for you” phrase. Recently, I had to console my friend because a guy she’s admired for such a spanned period told her, he’s got feelings for her but cannot date her for reasons he cannot seem to fathom. When I admire a guy, I sit back and watch just because I am not sure. I haven’t seen anyone with such yo-yo feelings as mine. I could like you today and wonder what the heck I saw in three days time; not exaggerating. So just to be sure it isn’t one of my spark of the moment admiration, I pull back and wait it out. Given a little time and the arrow tilts towards “like”, that’s it! I have decided to go into a relationship with the said person.
Urrgghhh! Wishing I could draw out all I have in my head based on this. My school of thought on this will need about a month to be drained. But I’ll try to explain as much as in can.
Here is what I got from the urban dictionary while researching on the exact meaning of feelings.
When someone says they "have feelings for you", it usually means they are attracted to you and they want to date you.

However, this is not always the case. When you're in a friend-with-benefits relationship, it's very likely that one or both of the participants have feelings for each other (or like each other). However, usually friends with benefits ARE friends with benefits because they don't want the pressure of being in a relationship.

When it is established that the friends with benefits have feelings for each other, things are kind of taken to the next level, and they sort of date without really dating (as in, they don't change their relationship status on facebook). So they mess around like old times, except now it's more passionate.

*Sigh* having feelings for someone simply means you like the said person beyond the borders of being platonic friends. Tread carefully when it comes to this subject matter, using words carelessly do not cut it. Identify what you are feeling at whatever point in time and follow up through the appropriate channel. Let me reiterate the fact that having feelings for someone means it's passed the borders of being platonic friends. DO NOT EVER TELL ANYONE YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR THEM BUT CANNOT GO INTO A RELATIONSHIP FOR WHATEVER REASON, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE SINGLE.
P.S: One of my readers told me I sound angry…*laughing really hard* Just thought to state that.

1 comment:

  1. Feelings have to come with brain now... And I have come to understand, if not checked with discipline, feelings will land you in trouble... That's what Prolly happened in the case study you cited. Someone's brain booted and d person decided to be rational