I have noticed people use the phrase "I love you" very loosely when it is very obvious love is misunderstood by many if not all. How do you know you love someone? And i am not talking about that empty principle some have subjected themselves to "love is blind". Love is very logical because in loving someone unconditionally, you have agreed to accept their personality at the same time; help in what ever you can to turn a bad situation around by careful and loving persuasion [This is of course for those with personality issues or inability to make good decisions]. If you love someone that is abusive for example, you can't sit back every time you are hammered thinking of a wonderful excuse to relate to others. Being abusive isn't only damaging to you but to the abuser as well; so loving the abuser unconditionally will mean finding ways to help even if it means separating from the person for a short while.
Most times, because of weakness or the inability to keep the legs closed, we come up with excuses about trying to separate from the abuser because that will hurt more. Some even stay back because of pity (oh if i live him/her, what would happen to him? How would he/she cope? He is like that because he had abusive parents bla bla)... Note that by walking away. i do not exactly mean breaking off completely because every human has a good side (i believe); i simply mean separation. Giving a solid lecture and on that note separate. If what the other feels is love, there must be a change. I don't think anything else in this world hurts as much as loosing someone you love.
While trying to gather a round view of love, i came across some tips i love. Keeping numbers 4 and 5 very close to the heart as i believe those are the most important.
- See if you can’t picture a future without your loved one.
- See if you can’t go a few hours without thinking of your loved one.
- See if you truly value the opinions of your loved one.
- See if your loved one makes you want to be a better person.
- See if you feel like the best version of yourself when you’re with your loved one.
- See if you’re aware of your loved one’s flaws – and are okay with them.
If your relationship makes you feel less than important, then you would have to quit it because you cannot give what you do not have. If you do not love yourself, you cannot love another. It is that simple.