Wednesday, 2 November 2016

The Osapa London Avengers


If you’ve ever thought the name ‘Osapa London’ stupid, wait till I spill what i encountered there two days. Okay, i shall not apportion blame to the place, but to the riffraff that almost destroyed my good evening vibe. My brothers and sisters, never had I ever come across such foolishness in my life. Ok I have encountered several… But this one amazed me, since Osapa London is no ghetto.

Before I proceed, I’d like to issue a disclaimer;

Women are neither generally dramatic nor unnecessarily emotional…

That said, I decided to stop by a friend’s that lives a stone throw away from my abode, on my way back from work, only for me to find myself stuck in traffic, trying to make my way into the estate gate. Before I knew what was happening, I had spent 30 minutes, 10 metres away from the gate! I tried to stay calm and not go into my usual rants about how something is wrong with Nigerians, since apparently, my hormones are not happy with my constant mood switches. So I maneuvered my way to the front of the gate, only to see that the whole labourers in the estate had surrounded two cars and were shouting over God knows what. You know, this encounter simply convinced me that without laws, human beings would be worse than animals! Anyway, I gave my brother my phone to go capture the scene, but knowing that this president Bubu’s regime can cause one to steal your bra without you even knowing it, I warned him to stay at least 3 metres away from the scene before he will come back to me with only my phone pouch- He did a very wack job though, because he didn’t capture the action nor the traffic the fight caused.Guess what caused the horrific congestion one had to get stuck in after driving through the burning hot sun, traffic and living dead’s on the road to get home?

So apparently, this man wanted to make a U-turn;  whether he indicated or not I do not know, but the narrators said the woman behind him clearly saw that he was making a U-turn, she then ran into his car. So during the course of their argument, she seized his car key with his car parked right in front of the estate gate! This woman refused to release the key, so all us trying to make our way in, had to wait for this woman to change her mind! Not only did her action (seizing the key) make her seem extremely lost, it attracted all the infected armpits in the world into her car! No disrespect to labourers at all as i absolutely respect your hustle; however, we all know the smell that oozes out of y'all armpit can kill any living thing! So if the guys struggling to get into the woman's car in this video were ten, she was inhaling ten armpits Geez!

Let me break this down, have you ever had a maintenance person come to fix- say your AC, then you walk out and after few minutes, walk back in only to be hit by a strong smell that seems as though a rat that died 3 days ago is in the building? So yes, the woman is scarred as long as she remains in that estate, she'll also probably need a bowel treatment after all she took in that day.
Hallelujah though!!! The man (Mr U-Turn) didn’t beat the woman at fault so to speak, because if he did, I wouldn’t care if she set his beard on fire, I would have stood with her to the end!

I wish I wrote this as it happened, now see how light I lost all my anger juice.